Weight Loss - New Starting Point

Today I decided to measure myself completely, which was easy as I'm in a hospital and there's a scale and a measuring band in the room. Here's the data that I'll share with you:

I am at the moment 75,2 kg heavy. I wish to lose at least 15 kgs, but 20 kgs would be amazing.
Chest: 96 cm
Waist: 85 cm
Hips: 112 cm

I will be checking these measurements closely while I diet. As  I said, I will be dieting healthily, so that my body gets what it needs but still loses weight.

Oh and by the way, I have now decided to go lacto-ovo-vegitarian. I won't be eating any meat at all from now on till I don't know when. I want to eat ethically produced meat (cows and sheep that have had a happy life) but I just can't afford that now, so I will have to wait till then to start eating meat again.
With one exception: we always have a whole duck for Christmas dinner. So that's still going to happen.
I will be eating eggs and milk products the same as usual though, I  would prefer to get them ethically as well, but for now not eating meat will have to suffice. At least I'm doing something, right?

Today's thoughts and workouts

So today I decided to get back on track with my exercising and weight loss, though I haven't really lost the track as more levelled into a track I don't want to be in. However, it's never that simple, because let's face it - the amount of sedatives I'm taking could keep a T-Rex asleep for three days, so how on earth am I going to have the sheer energy to even lift myself off the bed, let alone some weights to add?

I constantly feel tired, I feel like all I could do this moment is just sleep sleep sleep, and that's really all I want to be doing when it's this cold and dreary. I hope very much that it doesn't stay like this for very long, otherwise I'm seriously going to lose it. And I've basically already lost it, kinda why I'm in this mess in the first place.

It's also not the simplest way to try and motivate your weight loss when half the time you keep staring at a bottle of 40 proof and wishing you could just down it in one. Now there's some unnecessary carbs for you, way to go. The cheapo Estonian beer in my room aren't helping either, though it's not really their fault I want to drink them. I can really relate to Bugs's emotions here.

Butttt, here's my goal:

During photos of my weightloss

My weight has gone down only a few kilos, but I have been trying to keep muscles stick, so hopefully someone will notice the difference. I do, because I can more easily wear clothes that didn't fit me before, but I have yet measured myself (due to cold air and laziness)

Day IX: Food and Medicine

Food diary
Breakfast: 1½ dl strawberry yoghurt 120 kcal
                1 dl berry soup 100 kcal
Lunch: 1 dl mushed salmon and peas 200 kcal
           1 danish pastry 400 kcal
Dinner: 2 tblsp of godonlyknowswhat 50 kcal
           1 small ice cream 200 kcal
Evening snack: 1 dl Gefilus yoghurt 95 kcal
Alltogether:  1145 kcal


Medicine diary
Regulars+
10 mg Oxycontin x2
5 mg Oxynorm oral x2
5 mg Cipralex x1
x mg somethingtheyhavetoldmethenamebutiforgot x2
14 g Colonsoft x2
1 g Paracetamol x3

Exercise 

A bit of walking around, but I'm way too tired from al the medication to actually do anything. The most exercise I've gotten is writing about 7 pages of a 10 page essay! I did walk around with my friends who came to visit! I was so excited, they're lovely <3

Day VIII: Food and Medicine

Food diary

Breakfast: 2 slices of toast ham (just ham, no toast) 6 kcal
Lunch: ½ cup mashed something  ~200 kcal
Dinner: 1 Magnum 320 kcal
            1 Daim cake 200 kcal
            1 Nutridrink 300 kcal
Alltogether: 1026 kcal

Medicine diary
Regulars plus:
14 g Colonsoft x2
1 g Paracetamol x3
10 mg Oxycontin x2
5 mg Cipralex
20 mg Diazepam
20 mg Diazepam
1 pill Zyprexa
Some new painkiller of which I do not know the name
6 mg Oxanest IM x3
6 mg Oxynorm oral liquid x1

Exercise

Went to the cafeteria with my dad, like always if I'm standing. Did some butt exercises in the bathroom (there's a ballet pole for those people who can't walk without help) and hyperventilated enough to lose a lot of calories. I'd rather be fat than get panic atttacks. Oh well.

I hope tomorrow is better! At least today wasn't awful, it just ended on a pretty bad note, since I got another attack.  I really liked the psychiatric nurse who came to see me, and she'll be back on Monday!

Also here are some cute animal babies:

Day VII: Food and Medicine and Weight

I screwed up something with these posts, I think I missed a day or something. I have no idea. But it doesn't really make much of a difference so I'm just going to continue from day 7 and not care if I screwed up! K? 

Food diary
Breakfast: 2 dl berry yoghurt 120 kcal
Lunch: 4 tblsp mushed broccoli-chicken curry 200 kcal
           4 tblsp berry compote with no berries 200 kcal
Dinner: 1,5 dl mushed soup 300 kcal
            1 dl whipped porridge 100 kcal
            0,8 dl apple juice 80 kcal
            2 dl berry soup 150 kcal
Alltogether: 1190 kcal?

Medicine diary
Regulars
14 g Colonsoft x2
6 mg Oxanest IM every four hours
10 mg Oxycontin x2
5 mg Cipralex


Exercise

Again to the cafeteria and back.

 Because I only just started using the Colonsoft medication again (opiates tend to cause horrible indigestion) so my weight has been going up though I clearly eat too little for me to be gaining anything .- water or fat. I know most of the weight that leaves my body at this point is water and the rest is muscle, but I don't really have all that many muscles in the first place, so there's some fat going as well...

Day VII: I wonder about videos and tea

Today I woke up at a reasonable hour, around sevenish, which make me rather glad, because at that point I wasn't deep in sleep anymore and did remember quite clearly that I was in hospital (I've been waking a few times now not remembering and directly getting a panic attack as a result).
I weighed myself and realised I had gained almost a kilo back, but that's nothing to worry about. It'll go down in a few days again, it's not like I've eaten more. Nothing's just come out yet (yes yes tmi).

I feel like today I should put some make up on. I feel like being pretty today. Actually I feel quite pretty right now anyways, I don't feel hideous in any way. Actually mostly when I'm sick I feel like I'm at my prettiest. Not because of the white skin, or the really dark circles under my eyes, but the fact that I look so relaxed. Then again, I am on high doses of painkillers and I tend to get tranquillisers as well when I panic, so no wonder I look relaxed. My skin also looks cleaner in hospitals. Maybe it's the fact that there's no street dust inside and good air conditioning. I mean, it's not like I ever do anything to my skin to make it look good.

Yes, I will put on make up today. I will also take pictures of it, and I thought about making a little video.
Just a short introductory one, telling who I am and what's been happening to me. Five minutes or so. Put it on here and on Youtube and we'll see what happens. No one will watch it of course, but I feel like talking to a camera right now.
You'll also get to hear my accent! Decide if it's still very Finnish or not ;)

But all that I'll do after my doctor's have visited me, since I think they'd laugh at me if they knew my plans. And since I got some bad news yesterday, I don't feel like looking happy in front of them. Or making them laugh. Even though I really do like them.

Here's some pictures of tea:

I REALLY want one of these!! It's a Tea-Rex!

So true

My own weightloss #1 (only adults)

I'm going to start a small series now with pictures of me on my journey to a good, healthy, comfortable and hopefully pretty body.
If someone recognizes me from these pictures, fine, I don't really care. I am just too lazy to remove my tattoos from the photos. They are all censored otherwise so no porno-y bits visible. This is only to inspire weightloss, and notice the difference.

I've also tried recording the amount of cellulite and stretch marks I have (they tend to intertwine as well, so differentiating one from the other is not easy) so you'll be able to see what havoc strong amounts of cortisone can do in a short perioud of time. Please understand that though I these days eat way too much and am overweight because of bad habits, all of the horrible scarring and most of the cellulite is a result of extreme doses of cortisone (methylprednisolon) when I was just 12 years old. I was not fat then, I was just eating my meds that kept me alive. So this sort of change is not always due to "greed".

Here are the shockers (and trust me, they are shocking):

Top: From the front with no underarm flab, bottom: with flab

From behind all muscles relaxed

Stretch marks on the side of my hips all the way to my waist.

More side stretch marks, and some marks from my hospital trousers

Stretch marks on my upper arms, they go all the way from my armpit to my elbow bend

Stretch marks all through my legs, they go from my *krhm* ladyparts all the way down to my ankles

Cellulite showing while butt muscles are not held relaxed

Butt muscles relaxed, you can also see my side hip stretch marks on both sides

Day I: A week here already

I decided to start writing again with a new blog, since I have nothing better to do here in my hospital room. I am 22 years old, heart transplant patient, cancer survivor and now out of the blue sick again. With something. The doctors seem a bit puzzled.
I am also a young woman with a nice body form but that's where it ends. I am chubby, have been fat and due to both fat and high doses of cortisone, I look like a ninety-year-old woman under my clothes. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Huge huge stretch marks.
At the moment I weigh in at 69,2 kg. Which is for my height of only 162 cm way too much, and am hoping to lose (at some point in the future) 15 kgs.

As I am sick now, in hospital, not capable of moving much since I'm not allowed to, I won't exercise. And dieting is actually unbelievably easy right now, seeing as I can't eat really either. You see, my biggest problem is a horrendous pain on the side of my throat, neck and in my mouth. So food - no way can I eat food.

I've been surviving on juices, berry soups and weirdo nutricious drinks for the last five days, so I should be losing some weight soon.

I'm a university student and tend to put on weight when each school year begins, mostly due to alcohol, seeing as we party quite a lot. Luvvvv it.
Sadly it does nasty things to my body, so yeah....change coming now!

I'll be writing about both my weight issues and my medical issues here, and will be posting just random pictures as well (not of me though, keeping my pricavy for now). I will say I am writing from Finland, and Frankie really is my nickname.