Selfiemania: My normal day at hospital and my hair crisis

I'll start with my hair crisis. Well it's not exactly a crisis, it's just something that's been annoying me for a while now. I was able to cut my fringe here with some really crappy scissors and it turned out just about okay, it does not look good, but at least it's not hideous.
But I would so so so like to dye my hair green-blue, sort of mermaidlike hair, but I can't since I'm in a hospital and just can't do stuff like that. I'd have to bleach first and then use three different hair dyes to get what I want, and it would be such a mess that I think they'd charge me something for the cleaning.
And I am so not doing that.

But to my normal day at hospital:
I wake up around half past six, go and have a smoke.
Then I get some tea (I've refused breakfast 'cause I'm just not hungry that early).
Wait a while for something to happen, have another smoke, see my doctor at around 10:30.
 After that it's most like visitor's time. If no one is coming, I go for a relatively long walk around the hospital, upstairs and then cantine, smoke, downstairs, smoke, back to the ward.
Then it's already lunch time. That's when I actually do eat.
I get all kinds of meds through out the day, including heparin shots to my stomach (which is full of quite beautiful bruises at the moment).
I go for another walk, smoke, take some pain meds because of all the walking around and maybe have a nap.
Usually write some blog post in between some boring activity.
At three or four my dad comes, we go to the cantine, then I get my supper, and around sixish my dad leaves again. I always miss him when he leaves, but he has to go take care of Billie. I wish I could just have Billie here with me all the time.
Then I just wait around for the evening snack which for me is tea, ice cubes and some cheese. I love cheese.
I get my evening meds, and some sedatives, and wait for the ten o'clock when I get my last heparin shot and my sleeping pill. Oh and I do go have a smoke right before nine when the doors to the ward close.
I'm a real chimney here, but it calms me down, so no one has complained about it yet. I will stop smoking at some point, but definitely not now.

Some good and bad news - maybe?

Yesterday was a really hectic day. I knew I had a school thing to do and had calculated that everything would be done here in the hospital by noon so I'd have three hours to write the thing. Yeah never gonna happen! I was shipped from one examination to another so that by the time I started writing, I only had twenty minutes time.

I thought, no problem, shouldn't be too difficul, but by the time it was almost three pm, my doctor came into the room and told me the good news - they had gotten the results of the PET scan and it had shown something that might explain why I suddenly have all of these blood clots everywhere.

'However, the bad news is that what they saw in the PPET was an abnormality in my small intestinesm which could mean that my PTLD might have come back, It could also mean a variety of other things, including a copletely different cancer, or who knows what,They need to take a biopsy to make sure what it actually is, but right now they don't know what would be the best way to get the biopsy, since it's deeper in my small intestines than what my PTLD was. They also don't know when they're going to do to the biopsy.

I'm actually quite scared now. If it's PTLD, no worries, I might stil not need chemo and the Rituximab will be enough to treat it, but when my mom had her first ovarian cancer, it sstarted with blood clots all over her legs, and I'm really scared that I might have some other type of cancer now and will need chemo and everything. Then again, it could also just be a small wound that's bleeding...

I'm scared that I might die young. I'm scare that I might die. The only thing keeping me poisitive is the fact that they don't know what it is until they have done the biopsy.
Plus all my amazing friends and family who've supported me so much during this time, I love you guys and my dad to pieces, never forget that!