14.2.14

Devil's Night


I am an enemy of everything
My life is not for sale
My heart is in this fight forever
What can you take from me?
When there’s not a single fucking day
I haven’t fought to stay alive?
We’re finding hope in the hopeless
I am still their voice that gets stuck in your head
I am me
And I have come to fucking scare you to death
Because that’s what you deserve you disgusting piece of shit

I know the only words that you have for me
Are give up and get out
You'd like to think that we've been beaten
But we're here to stay
Forever and always

Every single day
Not giving up, living up all my dreams
So go ahead and look like I’m inferior
Condescension, Suffering, Callousness and Loathing
Are the badges I have earned for my cause
And I am finding hope within hatred
A reason to persist, to push past everything
We are here
And we have come to scare you to death
Because that’s what you deserve
You fucking fake ass hypocrites

I know the only words that you have for me
Are give up and get out
You'd like to think that we've been beaten
But we're here to stay
Forever and always

So loud
We are the ones that you pushed away
For drowning your voice out
You’d like to think
We've been defeated, but we’re here to stay
Forever and always

We've been through everything
And we all have our scars
We may be broken but you
CAN’T KILL ALL OF US
GOOOOOOOO!!!

Think before you fucking speak

I am no villain, think before you fucking speak
People fear what they don’t understand
And so now beauty has become the fucking beast

(Maybe you didn't hear me?)

I SAID GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

I know the only words that you have for me
Are give up and get out
You’d like to think
That we've been beaten but we’re here to stay
Forever and always

So Loud
We are the ones that you pushed away
For drowning your voice out
You’d like to think
We've been defeated, but we’re here to stay
Forever and always 

Motionless in White - Devil's Night

100 questions you never thought to ask

  • 1. What is your middle name? Susanna
  • 2. How old are you? 23
  • 3. What is your birthday? 14th of December
  • 4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius
  • 5. What is your favorite color? Violet or pink
  • 6. What's your lucky number? 7
  • 7. Do you have any pets? Yes, a dog
  • 8. Where are you from? Finland
  • 9. How tall are you? 162 cm/5'4''
  • 10. What shoe size are you? EU40

  • 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I have no idea, I have too many
  • 12. What was your last dream about? About dried fruit and machine guns. It was weird.
  • 13. What talents do you have? I can draw relatively well
  • 14. Are you psychic in any way? No
  • 15. Favorite song? Anti-Flag - Die for Your Government
  • 16. Favorite movie?  Doom
  • 17. Who would be your ideal partner? A sweet and calm person who'd let me be crazy as I am
  • 18. Do you want children? Yes
  • 19. Do you want a church wedding?  Not necessarily
  • 20. Are you religious?  Yes
  • 21. Have you ever been to the hospital?  Many many times
  • 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, never
  • 23. Have you ever met any celebrities?  Real celebrities? No, just tiny ones!
  • 24. Baths or showers?  Baths <3
  • 25. What color socks are you wearing?  Black with green shamrocks
  • 26. Have you ever been famous? No
  • 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?  I doubt it, a small one would be okay
  • 28. What type of music do you like? Alternative rock, punk rock and industrial metal (but I like many others too)
  • 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Of course, what other kind of dipping is there?

  • 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One
  • 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Curled in a ball on my right side
  • 32. How big is your house?  Huge
  • 33. What do you typically have for breakfast?  Porridge or bread
  • 34. Have you ever fired a gun? No, but would love to
  • 35. Have you ever tried archery? No, but would LOVE to
  • 36. Favorite clean word? Jöö (the swiss version of aww)
  • 37. Favorite swear word? Jumavitunlauta (Or English Goddamnmotherfucker)
  • 38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? 3 days, it was horrid
  • 39. Do you have any scars? Most of my body is scar tissue
  • 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? I don't know, they're secret aren't they?

  • 41. Are you a good liar? Yes
  • 42. Are you a good judge of character? No
  • 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? No
  • 44. Do you have a strong accent? Yes
  • 45. What is your favorite accent? Scottish or Irish
  • 46. What is your personality type? ENTJ
  • 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A fur coat - probably worth around 200€
  • 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes
  • 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie
  • 50. Left or right handed? Very much right handed
  • 51. Are you scared of spiders? Only little ones - you never know where they are
  • 52. Favorite food? Pasta
  • 53. Favorite foreign food? Still pasta
  • 54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy but organised, I have organised messes
  • 55. Most used phrased? Scheisse
  • 56. Most used word? Again - scheisse
  • 57. How long does it take for you to get ready?  5 minutes if I have to, 15 if I'm in no hurry
  • 58. Do you have much of an ego? Probably yes
  • 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Bite

  • 60. Do you talk to yourself?  Yes
  • 61. Do you sing to yourself?  Yes
  • 62. Are you a good singer?  No
  • 63. Biggest Fear?  Drowning or my dad dying
  • 64. Are you a gossip? Sometimes
  • 65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Hotel Ruanda
  • 66. Do you like long or short hair? Both
  • 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Nope, but I could when I was 15!
  • 68. Favorite school subject?  Geography <3 but in uni I'd say literature
  • 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert but only a little

  • 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No
  • 71. What makes you nervous? The dark, not knowing what's going on, life
  • 72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes
  • 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Yes and it annoys the hell out of people
  • 74. Are you ticklish?  Very much so, yes!
  • 75. Have you ever started a rumor?  No
  • 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?  Kind of
  • 77. Have you ever drank underage? Nope
  • 78. Have you ever done drugs? Yes
  • 79. Who was your first real crush? I won't tell you ;)
  • 80. How many piercings do you have? Just my earrings
  • 81. Can you roll your Rs? Of course - I am a Finn after all!
  • 82. How fast can you type?  Fast but with typos haha
  • 83. How fast can you run? Not very fast - bad bad stamina
  • 84. What color is your hair?  Green
  • 85. What color is your eyes? Green
  • 86. What are you allergic to? All fresh fruits except citrus, and nuts
  • 87. Do you keep a journal?  This blog is my journal
  • 88. What do your parents do?  Mum was a doctor and my dad a biochemist
  • 89. Do you like your age? Yes I do, it's the good part of the twenties

  • 90. What makes you angry?  Injustice
  • 91. Do you like your own name? Yes I do, it suits me perfectly!
  • 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes I have, and Melitta is high up on the girl side, boy would be Michael
  • 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I wouldn't care one way or the other - a child is a child
  • 94. What are you strengths?  Coping skills
  • 95. What are your weaknesses? Mood swings
  • 96. How did you get your name? My parents just liked the names so they picked them
  • 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Nope
  • 98.What's your blood type? O-positive
  • 99. Color of your bedspread? Violet and green
  • 100. Color of your room? Lavender-y blue

Today's thoughts of the coming weekend and shopping

My plans for the weekend went bust because of J being sick, which sucks and I hope he gets better soon! We were going to go to a party together, to see some old friends, but now that's not happening, so I have the weekend all to myself, and have no idea what to do.



Today we went shopping with my dad - which was a good idea, since now I have a few really cheap plain t-shirts I can DIY somehow during the weekend, so I don't get too bored, 'cause when I'm bored I tend to get really depressed and I don't want to. I doubt anybody wants to, that would really be insane.



I'm doing a lot better though otherwise. I think the painkillers are really working or then my viruswhatever is slowly leaving my body and making my lymph nodes small again. At least I can eat and drink again without having a constant pain in my mouth. Also I hear my teeth xray was great and there's absolutely nothing wrong with my wisdom teeth, which is good, I like having them, which may be weird since they are just random extra teeth, but still.



Hyperactive again today, one of the reasons why I woke my dad up at 6 am and asked if we could go shopping later (10 am). He wasn't very enthusiastic in the beginning....
Billie's hyper again too, really talkative. She's the most talkative bernese we've ever had - constant sound coming out of her. She sounds like a cat sometimes. It's really weird and really cute at the same time.



I've been keeping busy with Fitocracy every day. I love the thing. I've been logging in around a thousand points every day that I've worked out and it's  fantastic. I could do more, but I think I shouldn't overdo it in the beginning. Maybe later.



Also I'm saving up for a tattoo, so maybe at some point I'll get my fifth tattoo. Don't know yet which one I'll get first, it depends on the price really, but I'm going to go see my tattooist in Hyvinkää at some point to discuss the matter. First I do need to get to Hyvinkää and I don't really like going that way.

Make Up of the Day: Green and Pink





OOTD 14.2.2014





Top and cardigan from H&M, jeans from Gina Tricot and socks from Ireland

Tattoo Inspiration: Hearts





All photos from Tumblr.

Tattoo Inspiration: More mandalas

All photos from Tumblr.