20.12.13
Compass Rose Tattoo Inspiration
I'm really thinking of getting tattoos on my shoulders and they'd be compass roses, because I hate having nonsymmetrical tattoos...anyway here's what's going to be my inspiration when I try and draw me a good compass rose I really like:
Food diary of 20.12.2013
Breakfast:
1 cup of coffee
2 slices of white bread
2 slices gruyere cheese
1 protein drink (small)
Lunch:
2 protein drinks (medium)
some dried apricots
Dinner:
½ plate of pasta bolognese
Alltogether: 1700 kcal
Exercise:
4x25 crunches
4x25 bridges
4x25 bicep pushups
4x25 tricep pushups
10 minutes of stretching
1 cup of coffee
2 slices of white bread
2 slices gruyere cheese
1 protein drink (small)
Lunch:
2 protein drinks (medium)
some dried apricots
Dinner:
½ plate of pasta bolognese
Alltogether: 1700 kcal
Exercise:
4x25 crunches
4x25 bridges
4x25 bicep pushups
4x25 tricep pushups
10 minutes of stretching
Panic attacks and doctors
I've been having panic attacks now again almost daily. My dad didn't know, I only just told him when I told him who I was calling to for so long. I called the hospital. Or two to be precise, to maybe get some help to stop these things from occuring, but it seems it's impossible to
a. get a doctor on the phone
b. because they're on holiday
c. get medicine because
d. the doctor isn't around or
e. doesn't want to give medicine without seeing you.
Now we get back to my hospital fear. I don't want to go to a hospital if I can just for the life of me avoid it. So, as a rule, I then just refuse to come, keep getting panic attacks and nobody wins, except maybe the doctor on holiday.
I did get to to talk to two very nice nurses, one of whom I knew already from my stay at Meilahti, but it doesn't really help me stop having panic attacks, or stop one while I'm having one, that I get to talk to a nurse for half an hour of my day. I won't get a panic attack by order. I don't get them by order, I just suddenly out of nowhere get really really anxious and have a panic attack! And to get it off I need at least 15 mg of Diapam. And even then I'm just relaxed enough not to panic, not actually relaxed as in falling off my feet as a lot of people would with that dose.
My psychiatrist's appointment is on the 8th of January, I have to wait till then to get help or otherwise go to my local health centre to try and get my diapam prescription renewed. Or to Porvoo mental hospital to do the same thing. I'm pretty sure I won't last till January.
a. get a doctor on the phone
b. because they're on holiday
c. get medicine because
d. the doctor isn't around or
e. doesn't want to give medicine without seeing you.
Now we get back to my hospital fear. I don't want to go to a hospital if I can just for the life of me avoid it. So, as a rule, I then just refuse to come, keep getting panic attacks and nobody wins, except maybe the doctor on holiday.
I did get to to talk to two very nice nurses, one of whom I knew already from my stay at Meilahti, but it doesn't really help me stop having panic attacks, or stop one while I'm having one, that I get to talk to a nurse for half an hour of my day. I won't get a panic attack by order. I don't get them by order, I just suddenly out of nowhere get really really anxious and have a panic attack! And to get it off I need at least 15 mg of Diapam. And even then I'm just relaxed enough not to panic, not actually relaxed as in falling off my feet as a lot of people would with that dose.
My psychiatrist's appointment is on the 8th of January, I have to wait till then to get help or otherwise go to my local health centre to try and get my diapam prescription renewed. Or to Porvoo mental hospital to do the same thing. I'm pretty sure I won't last till January.
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