Today's Thoughts on travel fever

I just can't wait to go tomorrow! My plane leaves at two pm and I'm already superduperexcited! I've packed almost everything (only have to pack my make ups) and am ready to leave tomorrow at 11. We'll be going early to the airport 'cause my plane leaves from a very annoying place so I have to walk a long way to get to the right gate and go through both security controls and passport controls since I'm leaving the EU.

I hope you guys have a lovely June and I'll get back to you after my holiday! Hopefully with some holiday shots ;)


The Every So Beautiful SteamGirl Kato

Puppy Love

I want another dog. I love Billie to death, but I feel like one dog just isn't enough. I really miss Bali, my collie, she was the apple of my eye. And like any collie such a sweet, kind and obidient dog.

So here's a small post of cute little puppies:


Today's Thoughts on being rude and packing

I can be a bit of a volatile person, I'm really temperamental and I tend to react to negativity in an aggressive manner. I didn't used to be this way, but years of being bullied and having to make medical professionals believe me has made me a very guarded person.
I don't just let things slide, I react to them. And if I have made some of you undervalued or that I've been mean to you, I'm really sorry. I don't want to hurt people but I know how to do it. And this isn't just for my readers, it's to all that have felt me be negative towards them for no reason. I have seen a reason and thus reacted accordingly, but as someone pointed out to me today is that I don't know a commenter's agenda so being rude back gives nothing. Just a bad taste in the mouth as we say here.
Other than that I've been packing today, got all my clothes for my trip ready and only need to make sure I have my meds and all my papers and tickets with me when I leave on Saturday.
I'll be stuck at JFK for about four hours so I'll see some US as well! I really like airports. Hate flying but not airports or airplanes. Weird huh?
Also I don't need to go to my entrance exams this week because I got accepted to Haaga-Helia to study Multilingual Management Assistant studies. I'm super happy even if it was my third choice!

My Violet Fake Lashes

Fox Tattoos


Today's Thoughts on drinking and working out

Last night was the night when all the new high school graduates went drinking and some of us older students went drinking as well in the village, since we have this small group of older students and the idea was the get more alumnis to join us, but that sort of failed so we just drank the night and had a lot of fun catching up.

Also I drank way too much again. I mean, not as bad as sometimes, I still remember everything and got home safely, but as I was on my bike, it wasn't too easy getting home. I fell like three or four times (not badly, just sort of keeled over) and twisted my ankle in the process. Now I can't do any calf raises for a while. Drinking+biking=BAD IDEA.

Otherwise I'm doing so and so, I feel a tad depressed, mostly because of random and anonymous bitchy comments, completely out of the question that I don't take them personally. I take everything personally, it's a fault that I'm trying my best to work on. Maybe it's something to do with my depression but I just don't know.

I've also been working out a lot more lately, I only have less than a week to my trip to Canada so I'd like to have a few muscles  before I get there. I know I'm not going to be a fit hottie there, but at least I'll have some power if someone tries to rob me or something.
My diet has been an absolute and total failure. I've just gained weight. I'm almost at my heaviest again and I hate it so much. But I've tried to step up again and eat healthy and exercise (mostly lifting weights, because I hate cardio), so I'm slowly on my way to becoming a better version of me again.
I also constantly crave something sweet, but thankfully we don't have anything and I'm way too lazy to start baking something so problem sort of solved.

We've also been trying to cut down on meat consumption with my dad, and eating a lot of vegetarian and vegan dishes. Not because we want to stop eating meat, we both love meat, but because the meat here in the stores is horrible - watery  and rubbery and tastes disgusting. And buying better meat costs so much that it's easier to just cut back.

My smoking has also gotten worse, I'm like a chimney now. I wish I didn't smoke that much, but I don't really know what to do if I don't smoke. I kind of smoke out of boredom, it gives me a minute or two to just enjoy a nice breeze and to stop me from eating out of boredom. Because that's what I do, I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat 'cause I don't feel like I have anything else to do. It's a really bad habit.

I'm also sorry about all the thinspo and fitspo photos I post now, I know they can be triggering to many of you, but they help me keep motivated with my own weight loss, since if other people can look fit and good like that then why not me too? I will look good at some point, I promise. I have to.

Also a small post scriptum: If you have nothing nice to say, don't bother saying anything, I hate jealousy so much and I cannot understand why some people put so much energy into bitching about people that have done nothing wrong. This is the internet guys, everybody edits photos and lies about something, get over it!

Envy is when you want what someone else has. Jealousy’s when you also don’t want them to have it.
—  Kirsten Hubbard, Wanderlove

OOTD Summer Dress

This is the last item I bought this week, and I love it. It's just the right shade of lilac to not be too ordinary but still summery and it's really flowy too, love it.

Midnight Golden Selfiemania

I was a tad drunk last night, and ended up doing a bit of make up and taking a lot of photos. Most of them I've deleted (you don't want to see me tongue) but here's a few that I saved. I'm really loving my black hair, even if it less extravagant than what I'm used to.

Trigger Warning: Tattooed Thinspo

Again, you have been warned. Do not look further if this sort of imagery is detrimental to you.