30 Day Challenge - Future, first love and music!

So today I'm writing 3 days worth of answers, since I just feel like doing that, and I don't have much to say about any of the three questions.

Day 9 - How you hope your future will be like
I think I already kind of answered this question earlier, right? But hey, I want it to be to happy, filled with family and friends and I hope I'll be healthy Of course I also hope I'll own a nice house with loads of land surrounding it and have enough money to support all of that plus have extra to buy nice stuff.

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss
Well, I was 15 years old and so was he, it was really intense, we talked to each other non-stop all day long. We texted during school and then chatted online when we were home and then called each other every night: we were both under blankets so no one would hear we were talking to each other..And a 300 euro phone bill kinda proves how intense it was....I really loved him and I miss him every single day. I wish things hadn't ended the way they did, but at the same time I know it was his only way out.
My first kiss, however, was nothing special, I can't even remember who it was since it was in kindergarten.

Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write ten songs that pop up
My iPod has been offline for so long that the battery is dead, so I can't really do that, but I'll write just FIVE  random songs here:
Rammstein - Los
Abney Park - Katyusha
Mozart - Eine kleine Nachtmusik
X Japan - Kurenai
Bring Me the Horizon - deathbeds

30 Day Challenge - Moment I felt most tatisfied with my life

So this one is tricky - I feel satisfied with my life most of the time. Talking to my dad, cchilling with my mates étc etc. But maybe I ould say saythe day I had my matriculation party I finally became a an adult at that time and it fel amazing - even though my feet hurt since my shoes were a tad too small...


Maybe I should ask you the same question? What is the one event that made you feel satisfied with your life?

30 Day Challenge - Day 7: My Zodiac

So day 7 seems like a fun one to write about! The question is: What is your zodiac sign and do you feel it fits your personality?

My zodiac sign is sagittarius. Yes, big surprise as I was born in mid-December. I am definitely a sagittarius.
And here is why, and these all have been found on Tumblr. I promise you, every time I see something like this, I laugh, because it is just so true.

Zodiac signs and the seven deadly sins:
♐️ Sagittarius: Wrath

We're also extremely good in bed, if you know what I mean ;)

So how about you? What's your zodiac and do you feel it really is you?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Days 5 & 6

Again two days at once, because the things for day 5 I'm sure I've talked about before.

Day 5 - A time in your life you thought about ending your life:
Well, I've thought about killing myself more times than I can count, but most of them were less because of depression and more because of apathy and a wish to just see what would happen afterwards. However, last year I was seriously depressed and was *shows with fingers* this close to killing myself.
I didn't. Thanks to my dad being there. And I will forever be grateful for having him in my life, because without him, I would've killed myself ages ago.
My depression is gone now, completely. My anxiety and panic problems aren't, but they are under control.

Day 6 - 30 interesting facts about yourself:
These are probably not going to be very interesting but hey, we'll see!
1. I talk to all animals I see, even seagulls but to those I usually just say something like "Fuck off"
2. I feel very uncomfortable not having a watch on my wrist
3. And my wrist watch was on Canadian time between June and October. Even though I was in Finland.
4. My favourite past time is to watch TV with my dad and do random general trivia quizzes with him (he's so smart!)
5. I'm constantly thinking of ways to rearrange my room and make it more cozy.
6. I smell like my dad and it's horrible.
7. I have the ginger gene.
8. I'm also part Scottish which kinda explains the ginger gene...
9. My favourite game is Trivial Pursuit the GlobeTrotter edition
10. I like being alone but I get really lonely
11. Numbers are important to me, I love numbers
12. I love shopping and getting my nails and hair done, even though I usually look ridiculously unkempt...
13. It takes about a day for me to start missing my fluffball at home
14. My eyes are green but in certain lights they switch between blue, green and copper.
15. I hate ordinary tap water - I need my drinks carbonated.
16. Depending on the clothes I wear and the make up I have I can look between 16 and 30.
17. One of my exs started calling me Frank and it kinda stuck but I've had more nicknames than I want to count
18. I'd rather be called Frank than my real name, cause most people can't pronounce it properly and it irks me so so much.
19. I don't really know who I am
20. My feet are a size EU39/40 depending on the width. I have wide feet.
21. I have a horrible sense of humour.
22. I think every event has a silver lining
23. In my opinion the best parts of my body are my eyes, fingers and toes.
24. I have penpals (snail mail) and I love them!
25. Which kinda explains how much I love getting mail
26. I can't live without cheese. I love cheese.
27. I think Rainbow Cola is the best cola ever
28. Random trivia makes me go all giddy
29. I don't really drink any hot drinks
30. I'm converting to Catholicism

30 Day Blog Challenge - Days 2-4

This time I'm going to do three days at once, because days 3 and 4 are going to be answered very shortly.

Where I want to be in 10 years? 
- I want to have a child - boy or girl, I don't care
- I want to have a job that supports me and doesn't want to make me kill myself; doesn't need to be the best job in the world, doesn't need to pay the most, just enough so I don't cry myself to sleep because I have no money to pay my phone bill
- Own my own place - alright, I'm halfway there, but I don't want to stay in Finland for the rest of my life and I don't want to necessarily live in a 300 square metre house with a very small family or say just one dog if the kid part doesn't come to pass...
- In a country that I enjoy living in; sure I'll need to test a few places before I find the right place, but maybe Switzerland, Canada, Germany or Sweden? Something relatively familiar, close to my happy place and yet not Finland.

I think that's it. In 10 years I'll be 33½ and I'm not expecting to have everything by then. My health and a home are basically the biggest things, and with my health I need enough money to pay for hospital visits, so yeah. Well, not too out there I suppose, but hopefully down to earth enough to actually happen by the time I'm 34.

My views on drugs and alcohol?
Alcohol: don't drink too much, no need to be a teatotaller, but don't overdo it, it's really not healthy and it makes you look like an idiot. I speak from experience.
Drugs: this medium is too public to post my views here, I'm sorry.

My views on religion?
Religion is not needed for a person to have ethics and morals - and I don't care if you believe in God or don't believe, or what God/gods you believe in, just as long as your life's mission is not to judge others for not believing what you believe in. Okay? Okay.

30 Day Blog Challenge - On Being Single

Heya, found this interesting 30 day challenge on Pinterest and thought I might try it out. It's just a 30 day post challenge, so a topic for each day and do one blog post on that said topic. I might not do one every day, but I will go according to the list.

So I'll start with Day 1:
I am single, so will have to discuss that. I've been single for a while now, I tend to have really short relationships if that, and though I really do like being with someone special, I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. So if I don't honestly think I could survive with someone indefinitely I don't even bother starting something up; I don't think it's fair for anyone.

Anyway, I like being single. Sure it gets a tad lonely sometimes listening to all these taken people talk about their happy relationships, but no, I'm not alone. I would probably feel lonely in a relationship as well. At least at times. And okay, I don't get to hug and kiss and cuddle and whatnot with anyone, but that's mostly fine. If I feel really desperate for affection I have a big teddy bear at home willing to hug me. Sure she's a dog, but still. Warm+fuzzy+enormous = good hug.

Fine it's not as good as from a guy/girl you love, but it's enough for desperation at least!

I've been single for most of my life, so I've gotten extremely used to it. It gives a level of freedom, I wouldn't have in a relationship. Not that I couldn't deal with that, I don't need to go out and flirt with anyone, but still, it is a plus for being single. I don't need to make time for anyone, I don't need to move in with anyone (I can stay in my lovely house and enjoy my quiet alone time) and I don't need to feel guilty about having a bad day or landing in hospital - because I don't want to hurt anyone I love so having to tell something like that to a loved one is for me pretty painful.

And to be honest, I really do need my quiet alone time. Just because I'm really social and these days mostly an extravert, doesn't mean I want to spend my entire life in the company of others. Ooooh no.
Which is why I'd be perfectly content (at least for a while) in a long distance relationship. Sadly people these days don't seem to value the deep emotional connection you get with someone, if you are away from them for longer. People just want everything RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING. It's very frustrating, how are people these days to impatient that they can't wait like three months for someone? What about a year? Ooh no. It's weird in my opinion. If you love someone, you love them no matter what distance.

Yeah, I really do like being single. And I'd like being in a relationship just as much. I'm just not in a relationship. It's one those things - when you're single, you think how lovely it would be to be with someone and when you're with someone, you think how lovely it would be to be single. I don't really care either way. I'm not deprived of love in my life and I love plenty of people. Just not in a romantic way. Besides, it's kinda uncomfortable telling my dad I have a boyfriend and he's coming over (especially 'cause none of my boyfriends have been exactly "normal") so it's quite a bit easier to just not date anyone and be happy. And I am. Quite happy with my life.


......but I'd still like to meet someone wonderful, some nice guy who smiles a lot and is a geek and gets my brand of craziness.

The slightly more difficult blog challenge!

A slightly more difficult challenge!

This is a 15 days challenge, to truthfully tell of your own day every day for fifteen days.

You have to take a photo of these things:

MORNING – FACE – HAIR – FOOD – MOST IMPORTANT – DAY – NIGHT – PHOTO OF THE DAY

+ You have to tell about the main points of your day!

As the challenge begins the following day, you have to answer to these 20 questions truthfully today.

1. What’s your horoscope? Sagittarius or Chinese Horse

2. Can you lie? Yes, quite well actually

3. Do you consider yourself trustworthy? Yes I do, but I’m not the one to judge that

4. Why did you start blogging? I needed it as therapy as I was in hospital AGAIN

5. Are you happy? In and out of happiness but right now, I’m exceedingly happy! I’m in love you see.

6. Do you regret something very much? Yes. I regret my answer to my first boyfriend.

7. Money or love? Love!

8. Happiness or health? Health – with health comes happiness

9. When you are alone, you are cold. You take your phone, who do you call? Quite a weird question so I’ll give a weird answer: Myself.

10. What is your wildest dream? To live in Fidzi

11. Search the internet for your daily horoscope: (Sagittarius now)

“Boredom and restlessness may plague you today, Sagittarius. You could feel the need to break loose from the ties that bind you to mundane affairs, to run away and seek adventure, although you aren't certain what kind of adventure! The walls may be closing around you at home and on the job. You might want to plan some kind of outing for an upcoming weekend in order to give yourself a needed break.”

12. Do you feel jealous of others? Sometimes, but mostly I’m happy for people even if they are doing better than me.

13. What would be the dream you? Healthy, fit and without antidepressants

14. Imagine yourself in 10 years, where are you, what would you do? I would be the editor for Donald Duck magazines in Europe <3 also I’d have a husband and a kid or two…

15. Biggest plan for next Summer? Going to Toronto! Seeing Lake Eerie and the Niagara Falls <3

16. When did you cry last? Just now when I read about a mistreated dog…

17. Why do people have relationships even when they complain how difficult it is to be in one? I can’t answer that as I’ve never felt that.

18. Are you dating? Kinda I suppose…

19. Do you want  to get married? Some day, yes.

20. What do you think of this challenge? It sounds extremely interesting though utterly definitely most ardently a challenge, I don’t know if I have the stuff to make this happen!

Add five photos that mean a lot to you:

(I'm using old photos from my DeviantArt for this if you're wondering)

Thank the person who challenged you and describe their blog with three words:

I was challenged by Myrika of http://myrikanluutakomero.blogspot.fi, she’s a lovely young lady with a great taste and interesting posts. Mysterious, beautiful and kind.

Tag 15 other blogs which I am again not going to do - if you feel like doing this challenge, go ahead and link to me when you decide to start!