Looking at Tumblr and online shops always gives me this huge crisis over my looks. Sure I don't think I'm ugly or anything, I'm pretty cute (fat though, but still), but good Lord there are such beautiful women out there and such amazing clothes I just wish I'd fit into!
I think you are far more beautiful than any of those chicks you posted here. Plus, you are NOT fat. Period. Stop hating yourself! You are amazing. ❤
ReplyDeleteThank you, I notice you mean well, but a. I don't hate myself, b. I am over 85 kg, which for my height is obese and c. I think they're extremely beautiful women, I'm very taken you think I'm prettier but I still disagree.
DeleteLove!
I'm super glad to hear you don't hate yourself or anything like that! ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ Something about this post and my own experiences made me think that. I tend to over dramatize things.. I'm so sorry, even a little embarassed. I haven't looked at you like you were obese.
DeleteDon't be embarrassed, I get it. I used to hate myself, so so much. And it felt like everyone else hated me as well. But I've mostly gotten over all that. I still sometimes feel like others hate me, but I'm fine with myself.
DeleteI haven't taken many full body photos (none tbh) now that I gained the weight again...
I believe others don't see your weight, they see only you. :) I know how horrible weight problems feel like. I, myself was obese about 2 years ago. I managed to lose the weight but I'm now gaining again.. Hope not too much this time :D My weight has never been stable but I believe that anorexia and bulimia are both history now!
DeleteI can definitely sympathize with that! My weight goes like an angry yoyo. Like some people gain and lose about ten kilos. Me, I gain and lose 25 kilos quite regularly. Since I was 15 and stopped eating entirely for a quite a long while, I haven't had a healthy relationship with food. When I start losing weight, I lose all of it, when I start gaining, I always think like you "thiis time it won't go that high" but I always fail and become obese.
DeleteThankfully I have a very nice figure, so hiding just how fat I am, is not that hard. I mean, I always have a big butt, even when I'm basically thin.
And one thing I've also noticed is that I cannot see my own weight. I see it on the scale, and in the size of my clothes, but when I look in the mirror, I'm always about 75 kilos. Doesn't matter if I'm actually bigger or smaller than that, I always stay 75 in my eyes in my mirror.
I know I have eating issues, but I've learned to still love and respecct me as a person. And I've learned to love certain parts of my body and always see them as beautiful, which helps a lot.
Really hope everything works out well with you and those nasty evil EDs are gone! (I know they neveer really leave you, but I hope they'll never regain their control)
Yeah I am a size large in a lot of Western clothes and I am around a size 12 AU which is below the national average size, I don't know how most girls find clothes apart from a few naturally skinny ones! I love HolyClothing.com cause it has pretty stuff that easily fits me (not trying to promote them or anything, just saying they are good) :)
ReplyDeleteSo true! And here in Finland most women have very narrow hips and flat behinds, so my very full hourglass figure does not fit into any trousers! It's so frustrating. Plus I don't feel comfortable at this size. I yo yo between sizes 8 and 20, and I feel way more at ease in 8 than 20....
DeleteI pretty well understand your feelings! But do not forget that in these photos trere is a real mountain of Photoshop) Who knows what they look like in real life?)
ReplyDeleteYeah I know but I cann't even seem to be able to photoshop myself to look like that :D I need more editing skillz.
DeleteNah, I never edit my photos (only instagram ones)