This was the first night in a while when I actually slept thoroughly and saw a dream that didn't involve hospitals or being sick in any way.
Actually it was about a neighbour who came to show us a dead white rat (which looked more like a mix between a mouse and a moth) and told us that they'd a few years back found a small white kitten as well, and just knew it came from us since we had cats at that time.
Of course in the dream none of this seemed odd to me, not the fact that my neighbours weren't my neighbours, were talking of a kitten they'd got rid off and the fact that both our cats had been castrated males, so no kittens possible.
Anyway in the dream I was just plain saddened by the fact that we'd lost a cat we'd never even known about, but it all sort of felt okay and drank a cup of coffee with my neighbours.
Dreams, right? Never any logic.
Then I woke up, to pee I assume, but the second I woke up I remember I was in hospital and just started panicking. Crying and hyperventilating, and then all the pain in my jaw just hit me like a hammer, and all I could do was wait for the nurse to come and help me. I've never been able to stop a panic attack once they start without tranquillisers (thankfully today is Monday so I can talk about that breathing therapy the psychiatrist mentioned to me), so I just waited for painkillers for the jaw and knock outs for the panic.
And this is me now writing this completely relaxed and painfree after 6 mg Oxanest IM and a pill of Zyprexa. It's not really a tranquilliser at such, but it is against panic disorder and together with the strong opiates it worked rather well.
Why I'm still awake is a mystery, but oh well. Might as well be now, it's a hospital, I sleep when I want to.