Love me love me not

This time it's going to be really personal. For most of my life I've been single, big surprise since I'm under 30, and it's never really bothered me that much (except in my teen years, again big surprise). I've grown accustomed to being on my own, I like my own privacy and the freedom that comes from not being tied to anyone. I like the fact that I can choose home and my dad over someone I hardly know, and I don't have to explain why I'd rather be with my family than some guy who likes me.

However, my relationships have all been turbulent and very short, not only because of my up and down temper, but because  I tend to attract men of the same sort. I've gotten sick and tired of this. I'd like to meet a guy who likes me for who I am and isn't as insane as I am. Someone calm who'll calm me down as well.

In short - I'd like to meet someone nice, because I'm sick and tired of being alone all the time, and I'd love to finally have a decent relationship with a decent person and feel good about myself. Feel good about them. Want my dad to meet them. Want to choose them over my dad. Want to choose love over my family. I'd like to finally really honestly fall in love and not have to repress those feelings away because of a broken relationship and a broken heart. I've been in love, but I've never been allowed to stay in love.

Actually, a correction to the about text. I wouldn't mind finding a lovely calm lady to steal my heart as well. I go both ways and love is love.

Olen ollut yksin kauan, suhteeni ovat olleet lyhyitä ja todella temperamenttisia, ja toivon kaikin sydämin, että löytäisin jonkun rauhallisen miehen, joka pitäisi minutkin rauhassa. Haluan saada olla rakastunut, kun tiedän, että joku rakastaa minua takaisin, eikä pakota pitämään tunteitani poissa, kun niille ei ole vastakaikua. Korjaus: en välitä onko rakkauteni mies vai nainen, molemmat tuovat rakkautta yhtä lailla.


  1. Ohh great Photos.

    Schau mal auf meinem Blog vorbei.
    Dort läuft gerade ein tolles Gewinnspiel. Vielleicht hast du ja Lust mitzumachen.

    Liebe Grüße

  2. A really nice post and I totally go with that and understand what you mean. I think it's hard to find someone loyal nowadays. There are less people who'd be worth loving - or even liking them in a amicable way.
    I've already been in love, but I've never had a relationship until now that I finally have one and for being honest, I'm glad I hadn't. I'm seriously depressed and the imagination of me being in a relationship which does slowly break into pieces until it's finally over... Oh, no, I doubt I'd know how to handle it. And when I look around and see others and in how many 'relationships' they already used to be in...I kind of doubt there's a working brain inside their heads - or if there actually IS a brain.
    Now that I'm in a relationship, my point of view changed. It's nice to have someone, yes, but my past still controls me. It's not that I'm thinking about other people who used to be on my mind, it's the feeling I had when I saw that they're assholes. It's the pain and the disappointments I went through. This emotional bomb does not go away, it's always inside my heart. Probably because I'm depressive, but you know, sometimes I doubt I'm really happy. Being single has a lot of pros, not only cons. There are a lot of things going through my head and it's so hard for me. Love is a very, very difficult thing.

    Yuna von singforwhatyoufeelinside.com

    1. You're absolutely right, sometimes it's just better to be single. And it's always better to be single than forcefully in a relationship just to be in a relationship. You always have to really like the person, love them.
      I'm seriously depressed as well, but I remember how good it did for my first bf to be with me when he was depressed, I'd sort of like having someone supportive there for me...