Day One of Making Sh*t Happen


For the past year I've been doing really really badly, I've been depressed and panicky and anxious and gaining massive amounts of weight, wanting to die and just plain giving up. Not anymore, just no, it's no use anyway. I won't kill myself. So I should really make this life something nice enough to enjoy so I won't feel bad all the time, right?

Finally, now I started school again, I've been going to the gym. Well not for the past week, I had guests and seriously no time, but I did walk a lot. Next week again, I promise. It's a lot of fun, I've always liked going to the gym. Let's face it, it's nice to feel sore muscles. The sweating not so much, but I like being sore.

On Friday I finally started eating healthy, I threw all the crap into a box and I'm not gonna touch it. It's mostly chocolates so they'll keep well anyway, I don't need to worry about stuff getting bad. So now I have plenty of really healthy stuff, and I've been keeping a book again because even though it's all obsessive, it's the only way I can keep myself from overeating. And I mean way overeating, like thousands of calories overeating. Not like 20. I don't care about 20. I care about the tub of ice cream I could eat. So, I keep track of everything I eat, so I know it's been nutrious and healthy, and still filling enough to keep me full without having loads of empty calories. And I feel really motivated, so I know this'll hold. Once I get to this feeling, I know it won't go away for quite some time.
I also bought a beautiful skirt from a friend, and it's like 6 sizes too small so yeah, weight loss needed! (Oh and I am way over weight. Not just a bit, but a serious amount that's really really not healthy).

Also, I've been doing really badly with school lately, it's just been way too much and I've had no energy whatsoever. To be honest, I'm not awake until I've slept 9 hours. Right now, I get to sleep about three to five hours every night. I honestly thank God when I can sleep till 7 am. Not kidding. One hour more and it's like heaven.
But hopefully with eating better and exercising, I might actually get some much needed energy, so I won't get sick all the time. And since I obviously suck in Russian, I really need to do my homework. Otherwise I will not get a good grade and I very much need a good grade from languages, 'cause I'm so scared of all these business classes which are all new information to me. Never had to think about market segmentation before.

Oh and just because I'm all motivated and happy and stuff, does not mean I don't fall into despair every now and again. *cough*everynight*cough*
But. I will Homer worry about that.


  1. Hey, I was just thinking about you today, wondering how you were doin'. Reading this blog post was an absolute joy, and I wish you all the best, always. You're one of the best people I know.

    1. Awwww <3 likewise sweetie :3 I've been feeling so bad about not writing, but I hope I can now keep this up. This gives me so much joy, but I'm just so sleepy after school.

  2. Keep positive! You can do it! Sometimes it seems like everything at once and each bad habit adds to another, but if you find some exercise you like I am sure it will help all the other aspects of your life!

    1. I hope so too! But I'm sure you're right, and I promise I won't give up :D never ever.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Hey, finally you're back here! I kept thinking where have you gone! You're doing fine, don't give up) Oh, and you can contact me for help with Russian language of course ;)

    1. Yeah I'm fine, I've just felt really busy and tired so I haven't bothered to be online, plus whenever I could be online my internet doesn't work. Blah.
      Ohhh wonderful :D I'm sure I'll find something to ask you at some point ;)