28.2.14

Today's thoughts and some music



So we went shopping again, I bought three spray paints for 10 euro, so I'm happy about that. I'm really tired too, again, big surprise, so I think I'll try and rest at some point. Have been feeling really weird lately, again sort of  depressed but I don't feel like I have a reason anymore. I should be feeling happy, I should be happy, since there's only happiness in my life right now.

I should write more essays again too, I have one essay planned and I still haven't written it. I really should write it, because it'd be really mean to my wonderful teacher if I ask him to take my essay and then I don't deliver. I so hate missing deadlines.

I've been feeling artsy too, I feel like I should be diying all the time and I have nothing to diy. I wish I had something to paint, thankfully I have some canvas, so I'll just go fetch that and start painting. Watching Stargate and painting, what a dream. Wonderful.

Here's something that's been keeping me up for the last day:





Asking Alexandria - The Death of Me

Am I insane?
I ask myself over and over and over again
Trapped in my brain
Pull it out from the cracks in my skull
Am I alone?
Surrounded by shadows
I think I might just be suffocating

The devil came to take me to hell
But I'm already there.

Am I insane?
Am I insane?
Am I insane?

The devil came to take me to hell
But I'm already there.

[Chorus]
I won't let you be the death of me
No I refuse to let you bring me down
Bring me down
I won't let you make me out to be
The one who's in the wrong
And I've lost my mind before
But now I'm back
And I'm better than ever.

Am I insane?
I've rolled myself over
And screamed till I spit up blood
Trapped in my brain
The itching is incomprehensible and it won't stop

Am I alone?
The voices who lie but they just won't fucking go away

The devil came to take me to hell
But I'm already there.

Am I insane?
Am I insane?
Am I insane?

Am I alone surrounded by death?
I think this might just be the end

Am I insane?
Am I insane?
Am I insane?

The devil came to take me to hell
But I'm already there.

You can't take this away from me
You can't relieve these demons
You can't make this OK for me
You're the one who caused these feelings

I apologize for what I'm about to do
I try to sympathize
But at the end of the day
You brought this on yourself

[Chorus]
I won't let you be the death of me
No I refuse to let you bring me down
Bring me down
I won't let you make me out to be
The one who's in the wrong
And I've lost my mind before
But now I'm back
And I'm better than ever
Now I'm back
And I'm better than ever

The tears
Have left a blur
That I can't explain
The pain
Has left a hole
In which my heart should've been

I'm blind with rage
And I can't shake this feeling
Irrational
Impetuous
Intemperate

I'm blind with rage
And I can't shake this feeling
Irrational
Impetuous
Intemperate

I won't let you be the death of me
I refuse to let you bring me down
Bring me down
I won't let you make me out to be
The one who's in the wrong
And I lost my mind before
But I'm back and I'm better than ever

2 comments:

  1. Haha you seem SO desperate that I have to leave a comment even though I don't have any suggestions, sorry. Do you own a sewing machine or have you ever sewed anything "from scratch"? Learn something new! :D I don't know what, though...

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    1. Yeah I sew regularly, but don't have a working sewing machine. I have four broken ones. Yay :D so I sew everything really from scratch - patterns and sewing done by hand.
      I constantly do something, but all of the things I do, I've done a hundred times before or then I don't have the patience for them so I get bored :D
      I'm kinda adhd in that sense, I can't sit still for very long...

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