I got a fever today, not a high one, but high enough to keep me away from the gym and stuck in bed all day. I can barely breathe, my nose is so stuffed. I hate having these tiny little colds every month, I'm so tired of always being sick and not having the strength to get up and do something. I just want to live a normal unsick life. Although I suppose these days that sort of thing isn't normal at all, everybody's sick with something and nobody can get away from life.
I did go see my psychiatric nurse today, even with the cold. Had to go to the pharmacy and bank too, but that's unimportant. I got a BDI test to do, and it seems I am depressed. It's up to her to define how depressed and up to me to figure out why and how to get rid of it. I don't know why I'm depressed. Not really. I know why I'm sad, but sadness doesn't create suicidal thoughts. I think? I don't know. I wish I could see her tomorrow and ask these things from her, but I have to wait a week. I can of course always call her, but I think that would border on annoying.
This is my first month without school work. Without studying. Without essays or exams or lectures. This is my first month of my sabbatical and I don't really feel much better. I feel a bit empty to be honest, but I know I couldn't handle studying now. I just couldn't handle having to stress over minute things when I'm struggling with life itself.
I pierced my ear yesterday, made a second hole in my left ear. Now I'm letting it heal. I'm stretching my right earlobe now, but first only a little. Hopefully soon I'll get to change the pin into a bigger one. I know it's a slow process, because we don't want any injuries.
Noticed I have way too much make up for one make up bag. I have like five make up bags all full of things, and that's not even all of my make up. And it's stuff I use every now and again, can't just throw them out. I need to get a bigger make up bag, but don't really know where to look or what to look for! Maybe I should go to one of those manly building stuff stores and buy me a huge box for nails and hammers and use that for make up. Might be even a bit cheaper than getting a big make up box...