This is my white post. I find the colour white to be much more of a sad colour than black, so I use it more as a colour of sadness than maybe others here in the western world. I removed some friends out of my life yesterday because of a lack of respect. Not on their part, but on mine, I just cannot find a way to respect them anymore and thus I cannot fathom how I could stay friends with them. I need to feel at least some trust towards my friends.
Though it was my decision to remove them, to delete them from my life basically, because I am not really going to see them much anymore, I do feel sad about it, because they were my mentors for the past three and a half years of studying English with them. They were the sort of people I could go to if I didn't know what to do and the sort of people I always knew would help, or at least point me to the right direction. Which is why this all is so much worse. They refused to help someone I know needs support, simply because it has nothing to do with our studies, and I find it impossible to find respect towards them anymore. We were equals this year, I felt, because I had already done my BA thesis, and they were still doing theirs, though older than me, but now, I feel like they're little children trying to play better than they really are.
So, I am both sad and angry, but I refuse to let my anger overtake me, because that would be an extremely bad idea in all possible ways. Which is why I just deleted them and will go on with my life. However, I decided to make this photopost regardless, because I think it's only fair that I mourn this situation for at least a second.
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| Alysha Nett |
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| Copyright Voodica |
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| Emma Watson |
Wow. I've always liked your picture posts because you find such beautiful things to share, but I love this white theme especially. As for the "deleting friends" thing, I've been there once, nine years ago with two people who suddenly started treating me like crap, and I still find myself thinking about our lost friendship once in a while. But I have absolutely no regrets – everyone HAS TO respect themselves enough not to burden themselves with relationships that only bring sadness. Now I find myself again on the brink of "deleting" someone. I think I've been much too patient with this person for much too long, but this relationship makes me so angry it has to end soon unless this other person realizes what they're doing. Deleting feels extremely painful for a while, but a med that works really well is committing yourself to the relationships you have where the respect works both ways :) I'm trying to think of a finishing touch to this comment... Well, just know that even though it's been a while since we last met, everyday I wish you all the best and all the strength. <3
ReplyDeleteAww you're comment made me feel so lucky now. You're really a very good friend, though I know we meet way too seldom, but that's a problem with me, I see people way too seldom in general.
DeleteYou're absolutely right, people need to respect themselves enough to commit themselves to the good and nourishing relationships, instead of the ones that bring sadness and misery.
Thank you Mizzie <3