I'm not really in a good mood today, we went shopping with my dad, but that only perked me up a bit.
I cried like a baby when the vet came, and I made my dad take our bernese away so she didn't have to watch.
I had to do this decision. She was old. She had arthritis, bad arthritis. She had a bad stomach and getting her to the shower was so painful for her that induced fear in her. Fear against me. Against the one person who always always loved her and was mostly never angry with her, even when she peed in my bed a few times...
I loved her through everything, and I will always love her. She was definitely my comfort and joy, though her life slowly drifted into something very different from comfort and joy. I just hope she's happy in doggy heaven <3