Inspiration for my new diet

When I get out of the hospital that is. And it won't be a diet in the sense that I'll stop it at some point, it will last as long as I am too poor to afford ethical meat. (In my mind ethical, doesn't need to conform to your views of ethics). Except for that one Christmas duck. That is a tradition I won't give up. Otherwise me and my dad will have no traditions at all. Just the Christmas datura plants, which is already sad enough, since they don't look their best during the holiday season.

Today's thoughts on sushi, fangirling and diet

I had a wonderful day today.
Seriously.
I skipped my class to listen to a panel discussion about religion. Which ended up being one of the most boring panel discussions I have ever heard. It also brought a lot of thoughts to my mind about last night but yeah it was dull so we skipped the rest of the panel and went to eat SUSHI.
I.love.sushi.

It was fantastic. It also ruined my day's dieting which brings me to the next point of the day:
1. When I diet, I notice feeling slightly light-headed. Good since I used to eat way too much and now it's normal
2. When I get light-headed - I start fangirling. No seriously, I become a little teenager going "OMIGODHE'SSOHOT" while scrolling through Tumblr. It's kinda worrying since ordinarily I'm not like, I'm not a huuuuge fan of anything, and I feel a bit too old to be going this crazy about a person I'll probably never meet. Though good God do I want to meet them!

Wanna know who's on my list of 'letsgetcrazyexcitedaboutasinger'?
No?
Well I'll show you anyways.

I.am.ridiculous.

Alright and end this weird rant there's two songs:
One from fangirlinducingguy #1 Machine Gun Kelly (song's a cover version with Kellin Quinn: Swing Life Away)
And one from fangirlinducingguy #2 Oliver Sykes, singer of Bring Me the Horizon (song's Deathbeds)

Tomorrow I'll have some actual photos for you! Oh stuff and me! Oh yay finally I'm photographing something again jeez it's been so long.

Today's thoughts on studying and degrees

No, I don't mean centigrade, and though it is warm outside and beautifully sunny, no again, not temperature. I mean my  BA degree, which I finally finally got in the mail today! I wrote my thesis last year but since I spent so much time in the hospital, I couldn't finish my degree before this year since I didn't have enough credit (ECTS).

I managed to actually receive good grades even though I spent so much time outside of university and thank goodness for this, because I finally feel like I've managed to accomplish something in my life! No, I don't feel bad about my life anymore, not generally anyhow, but I haven't done much in my life - which is a fact - so this does make me happier than most things. It also means that if I don't get into another school I will have just two years till my MA degree! We'll see what happens.

 

I wrote my thesis on medicine in literature and that is probably the line I will continue on - I really like writing about medicine and I especially like medical history which is incredibly easy to link to literature and literary history. Anyways, so that's my thing and that's what got me to this point. I think I would've been bored to death long ago if I wasn't allowed to write about medicine...

Oh and I had another photoshoot yesterday - pictures up next week I assume!

 What have you guys studied or what would you like to study? Anything specific or are you still wondering about it?

All photos from Tumblr.

Berries - foodspo

In the middle of winter I wanted some berries again - don't have any so I'll stick to pictures. All photos from Tumblr.

Vegan Foodporn

All photos from Tumblr.

Today's Thoughts, Home Attire and Giveaway!

Today me and dad went on a little car ride to get the battery going a bit (it's -16 degrees centigrade here, so the car's not that happy), and so we went both shopping and to the post office. Just a long enough trip to get us two cold and the car warm!
Shopping I got a few magazines and these wonderful fluffy yellow slippers that I've been dying to have, since our floors are cold and I need something warm and fuzzy to keep me happy.

My home attire is just about the most hideous and unflattering thing on the planet. But hey, it's for practical purposes like keeping me warm, not for any fashionable purpose! I'm somewhat warm today, much warmer than before mostly due to better heating and more exercising. I also feel much better about myself because although I did slip off my diet harshly during this winter, I'm back on the wagon now and feel absolutely fantastic! I also don't feel any new sugar cravings and have been able to say no to chocolate and cookies many many times now.

I also cleaned some more today, vacuumed the entire upper floor (one of the upper floors) and feel accomplished. I've done something that benefits our house, it feels good. It feels good not being a lazy bastard every day, but sometimes being a good girl and doing her chores. It just feels so good, it's weird.

Also did some cooking today! It was my turn cooking, my dad's usually the one to stay in the kitchen. We had lentil and bean stew, because we have so many dried lentils and beans at home and we never do anything with them, so I made a nice little curry that I think my father enjoyed a lot more than me. I love actual Indian food, but my curries just never come out right I think. But as a lentil stew it was quite edible.

Experimented with make up too, made some random colour choices and just lathered eyeshadow on to see what happens. Was nicely surprised how well it turned out. It's also a  beautiful day outside, so the lighting indoors has been wonderful as well. Not to mention heating our house has really made an improvement in my attitude towards this winter.

My shrink's dept called finally. Both the nurse and the doc, and I have new dates for next week to go talk to the nurse, so we'll see what happens. If I'll be cured or not. Right now I feel more than good. But every mood I have is like an opposite of the next, it's like tidal waves, come and go with the moon. Maybe it's just my cycle, maybe I'm not even depressed or contemplating suicide, maybe it's just a part of my natural cycle. Like laughing uncontrollably and staying awake for a whole night.

I feel creative again, I took some diazepam and it's been kicking off my creative mood again. I feel like writing and drawing and painting and writing more and drawing more and making paintings and painting makings and throwing all my clothes on the floor and rolling in them like Unca Scrooge in his money or a dog in a pile of leaves. I don't know, I feel very hyperactive. I need more DIY t-shirts but I have nothing to DIY anymore so I can't do anything glittery anymore. I need more glitter in my life.

I should go to bed early today, it would do me a world of good not being awake and not letting this superduperhypermood get the better of me. Good night, farewell and see you tomorrow!


PS. Giveaway from my giveaway page is still up for grabs if anyone's interested!

Early morning health post

Giving up and not

I am giving up writing and publishing my food diaries, mostly because I've come to a point in my life that I feel I don't really need to post those, or so many posts a day as usual for me. This blog has some unbelievable therapeutic qualities for me, so I am not giving up on this (or on my diet), but I will try and keep it to a bare minimum.

My life is not suddenly better, but I do feel a weight slowly being lifted off my shoulders as each day passes, because each day I manage to get closer to my goals. It feels comforting. Also I think my meds are working better slowly, but I will have to discuss things with my shrink still.

Tomorrow I will go to the pharmacy again and get some more pills, on Saturday I will go clean out my flat in Tampere a bit more, on Sunday it's time for some shopping with my bf, and on Monday it's a nice little second Sunday. Three Kings, can't wait!

Three Holy Kings by Piotr Stachiewicz, for the Three Kings' Day on 6th January

Foodspo