30 Day Blog Challenge - Days 2-4

This time I'm going to do three days at once, because days 3 and 4 are going to be answered very shortly.

Where I want to be in 10 years? 
- I want to have a child - boy or girl, I don't care
- I want to have a job that supports me and doesn't want to make me kill myself; doesn't need to be the best job in the world, doesn't need to pay the most, just enough so I don't cry myself to sleep because I have no money to pay my phone bill
- Own my own place - alright, I'm halfway there, but I don't want to stay in Finland for the rest of my life and I don't want to necessarily live in a 300 square metre house with a very small family or say just one dog if the kid part doesn't come to pass...
- In a country that I enjoy living in; sure I'll need to test a few places before I find the right place, but maybe Switzerland, Canada, Germany or Sweden? Something relatively familiar, close to my happy place and yet not Finland.

I think that's it. In 10 years I'll be 33½ and I'm not expecting to have everything by then. My health and a home are basically the biggest things, and with my health I need enough money to pay for hospital visits, so yeah. Well, not too out there I suppose, but hopefully down to earth enough to actually happen by the time I'm 34.

My views on drugs and alcohol?
Alcohol: don't drink too much, no need to be a teatotaller, but don't overdo it, it's really not healthy and it makes you look like an idiot. I speak from experience.
Drugs: this medium is too public to post my views here, I'm sorry.

My views on religion?
Religion is not needed for a person to have ethics and morals - and I don't care if you believe in God or don't believe, or what God/gods you believe in, just as long as your life's mission is not to judge others for not believing what you believe in. Okay? Okay.

Finally some Canada!

Alright, I am so sorry this has taken so horribly long, but here it is, some of my photo memories from my time in Toronto. I was in Canada during June (Toronto for nearly two weeks, and a small weird pit stop kinda thing in Montreal).

I had an amazing time. My hostel was beautiful and so much fun, the people were so friendly, I made friends who I can't wait to see again. I spent most of my time hanging out in tourist spots and at the hostel, but I went partying almost every night and met the loveliest people - I fell in love. I absolutely fell in love and if I can, I'll move there for my exchange and work placement. Toronto was fantastic!
Montreal, not so much. Not even close.

Back from a long holiday

So this has taken me forever.
Sorry about that.
Well not really, I am sorry for being MIA but I'm not really sorry for having enjoyed my summer. So in June I was in Canada for two weeks, mostly in Toronto (just a day or so in Montreal, out of a whim really), and I had the most amazing time. Safe to say it was the best holiday I've ever had. However, more about that later on when I finally get my photos posted here too.

The summer's been unbelievably warm. Hot actually, and I think I've melted a few times, it's dreadful. I'm  really not one for warm weather, I can't do anything other than drink bottle after bottle of mineral water and it's driving my dad insane. I think I drink like seven litres a day (and to anyone who thinks it is dangerously too much - I'm still alive so booyah get over it, at least I can drink).
I can't sleep whatsoever, so basically this summer has just made my insomnia much much worse, and I can't really ask for help because my shrink is on holiday. So I have my old pills for it, but seeing as they never helped, well, tough luck I suppose.

Speaking of shrinks.  Since I went on holiday in June, I haven't taken a single anti-depressant, anti-anxiety or anti-anythingpill and I feel fabulous.
I think it's safe to say I'm no longer depressed. I am a tad worried about the start of my new school year, because if I start stressing out again, I might need to start taking pills too, but let's just wait and see, shall we?

And yes, I was accepted to Haaga-Helia to become a multilingual management assistant. So from the end of this month on, I will be studying business and languages. Hopefully by the end of the next four years (that's about as long as the studies will take), I'll be able to speak over ten languages. That's my goal anyway. I'd like to get to twenty before I die.
On the 19th I will have a Swedish test to maybe get exempt from the course, because if I have to take another Swedish course with people who can't even say their own names in Swedish I will kill someone. I use Swedish every single day, seriously need to get a free pass.
Anyway other than that I'll have to start studying Chinese, German and French, and I hope that I can choose Russian at some point.

I've also been writing quite a bit. I had about 65 pages of a book written, and I think now it's more like a hundred pages. I always write by hand on paper, so I actually don't know how many pages it really is since I've yet to copy it on the PC. But we'll see. Hopefully! Maybe one day I'll get the courage to let someone actually read it. Would anyone actually be interested?

Today's Thoughts on travel fever

I just can't wait to go tomorrow! My plane leaves at two pm and I'm already superduperexcited! I've packed almost everything (only have to pack my make ups) and am ready to leave tomorrow at 11. We'll be going early to the airport 'cause my plane leaves from a very annoying place so I have to walk a long way to get to the right gate and go through both security controls and passport controls since I'm leaving the EU.

I hope you guys have a lovely June and I'll get back to you after my holiday! Hopefully with some holiday shots ;)

Today's Thoughts on being rude and packing

I can be a bit of a volatile person, I'm really temperamental and I tend to react to negativity in an aggressive manner. I didn't used to be this way, but years of being bullied and having to make medical professionals believe me has made me a very guarded person.

 

I don't just let things slide, I react to them. And if I have made some of you undervalued or that I've been mean to you, I'm really sorry. I don't want to hurt people but I know how to do it. And this isn't just for my readers, it's to all that have felt me be negative towards them for no reason. I have seen a reason and thus reacted accordingly, but as someone pointed out to me today is that I don't know a commenter's agenda so being rude back gives nothing. Just a bad taste in the mouth as we say here.

 

Other than that I've been packing today, got all my clothes for my trip ready and only need to make sure I have my meds and all my papers and tickets with me when I leave on Saturday.

I'll be stuck at JFK for about four hours so I'll see some US as well! I really like airports. Hate flying but not airports or airplanes. Weird huh?

 

Also I don't need to go to my entrance exams this week because I got accepted to Haaga-Helia to study Multilingual Management Assistant studies. I'm super happy even if it was my third choice!

Today's thoughts on Summer and clothing

Hello there again, it's been a while hasn't it? I haven't really had anything to say, no that's not true, I just haven't felt like being online.

I have had a lot of things to think about. Firstly, I am going to Canada, though it seemed like I might not be able to. So I'm really excited and a bit nervous about the whole thing, but in a good way. I've also been checking what sort of things I could go and see as I'm spending more than two weeks in Toronto. My first stop will definitely be Canada's biggest zoo. I love zoos with all my heart and am probably going to spend two days there! There's also a huge amusement park which I really want to go to and a bookstore named "The World's Biggest Bookstore". Not to mention all the shopping and Chinatown and everything. I just can't wait.

Secondly, I've been feeling a tad better, I don't have as many panic attacks but I still got some diazepam for my trip so in case I get an attack I don't need to go to the hospital since it's outside of EU and thus more expensive for me. That's sort of making me a bit nervous 'cause just knowing I might not be able to pay for the care is giving me a bit of anxiety.

Thirdly, I've been thinking of trying to get going my own clothing line. I draw a lot, I love drawing, and I have some ideas, but I'm not sure if my talents are good enough for doing something like that. It'll be a small thing, I think I'm going to start with just t-shirts and jumpers and maybe bags. I just need to start drawing some sketches and see where I'll be able to publish them.
Do any of my readers have ideas concerning this? I mean, do you know any good sites for ordering or also printing t-shirts? Maybe even so that they do the work and I just gather up the drawings and give to them?

And fourthly, how do I get this crummy blue hair dye off my hair? I've already bleached it and it's still sticking to my hair like glue it's really weird.

Oh and my anti-anxiety pills are giving me some trouble. You know how some pills can give you mood swings and dryness of mouth and maybe some constipation. Well guess what, I'd love to have those instead of my problems. I can deal with the decrease of libido, jesus I was a complete slut before I started my pills so a bit of calming down is just good for me, but lactating. Lactating. I am not kidding. I am not pregnant and I am jesusfuckingchrist lactating.
Now it's waiting for my test results of my prolactin levels to see where the problem lies and how big the problem is. Has any of you who use pills for anxiety and depression ever had this problem?

Also it's a crappy day today, but oh well, hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better.

Today's thoughts on jobs, June and Canada

So I think you all guessed where I'm going this coming June? That's right, I'm heading over to Canada, baby! I've never been outside of Europe before, and I just can't wait, because I'm going to meet the best of people and the nicest guy who's taking me in for over two weeks. I'm spending over two weeks in Hamilton right next to Toronto. I'm such a lucky girl I can't even describe me enthusiasm now!

Also I got a job as a telephone saleswoman, big surprise as I worked for them before already, but it's going to help me with the expenses of the travel and paying back from the plane tickets. It's not the most glamourous job in the world, but it's not that bad. It's actually quite comfy, just sitting around and calling people about random magazines.

But Canada, baby! I just can't wait, it's 99 days from now and I'm going to count each and every one of them, because I just can not wait what so ever!