Snow, ponds and feeling better

Still in the hospital and probably will be here for quite some time to come, but I feel a hell of a lot better. The cortison helped to take away some of the swelling in my neck and throat - my lymph nodes are a bit swollen still but not a lot anymore and they don't hurt that much anymore. My throat still hurts like a bitch, but at least now (finally) I'm getting actual painkillers. I managed to plead long enough for them to agree to give me oxycodone when I really need it. Which is only about twice a day now, since the swelling has gone down.

I'm getting my antibiotics through the IV but everything else I'll be taking as pills, which is awesome. And I'm allowed to eat now that I can (thanks to the painkillers) and I feel so incredibly happy just to be able to drink a bottle of coke without wanting to die. Before it felt like one gulp could tear my throat in two but now it feels completely normal with just a slight sting. Slight sting. Jesus, one day and this much progress! It's fantastic!

And I'm pretty sure I'll be getting to speak to a psychiatric nurse soonish - I did ask the first day I was here, but it didn't go further, but today during the doctors' rounds, they told me that yes they know and I should get to speak to someone at some point. Which is great, 'cause I've really been feeling quite anxious here. I haven't had the time to see my regular psychologist, so this is already long overdue to speak to someone, so I really can't wait to load things off my chest!

Now that I have the catheter on my neck, I don't need to have an IV in my arm or hand or anywhere, so I can actually use my hands normally again! Which again, fantastic! Hopefully I'll only miss a few days of school next week and not the entire week. I don't know yet though, but all my teachers are fine with this so I'm sure I can deal with the courses even if I end up missing the entire week. Hope not though, we have team projects and I feel bad about not being there.

Also I got a text message from my post office that two shoes that I ordered have arrived! I cannot wait. They're awesome!

Yes, this painkiller might be making me a tad hyper, but hey, I'm almost pain free! So I don't care what's making me hyper, I am happy.

Every day I go out for a walk (and sorry to say also a smoke) and today there's snow on the ground as well! It's really pretty. Aurora hospital, though in Helsinki, is a nice place: right on a hill, old buildings scattered around, small unkempt park with a pretty little pond. Went to see the pond today and it was frozen over!

It's really just a beautiful day to day, isn't it?

Correction: I was supposed to post this last week, so sorry about that.

The sunshine really makes up for the cool air, it snowed a bit today as well, and that was far from comfortable. Plus my dad took some photos of me, which was sweet, he usually refuses.
And I had my German midterm today which was awful, I suck at grammar....hope to get some patience to sit down and study at some point, too much laziness and not a long enough attention span to do that yet...

I ordered a few things on the weekend, and really can't wait to get them! Ordered two BMTH t-shirts, really really excited about them (way more excited than one should be about t-shirts) and a bunch of needles and piercing jewellery - I am so getting my septum and labret back! Just miss my piercings so so much. And my nose is definitely healed now, no lumps or anything, so doing another hole there shouldn't be a big problem.

Aurora, Aurora

Yesterday was a horrible horrible day. Just plain awful. I woke up in the morning with the most dreadful pain I've had thus far being here and big surprise (thank you effing painkiller hating Finland) I got nothing to help with the pain. I cried hysterically for two hours until I got a very tiny dose of oxycodone (not even enough to get half of the pain away) after which I was sent to a ear-nose-throat specialist. They found nothing new and sent me back to my ward.
I did get some new medications from them to help with the swelling and the infection, but pain? No nothing. I did manage to get paracetamol, which they love to give around here, thank the Lord above. IT IS THE MOST USELESS PAINKILLER EVER.

So, later, after again crying hysterically, I lost my IV, it started leaking. So they wanted to put a new one, but found no veins, so they decided I'd get a central line catheter. For that, they need to know how quickly my blood coagulates, so new blood samples. Again, no veins to be found. Had a panic attack.

They sent me to the catheter place, place the anaesthesiologist finally got some blood out and managed to answer the coagulation issue - and they gave me such enormous amounts of sedatives and strong painkillers (this white diazepine stuff and phentanyl) that I was in no pain whatsoever for the first time in weeks. I felt so bloody happy! When I was finally done with the catheter - which took about thrice as long as normal, since they put it in the wrong way first and had to correct it - I ate and drank so much I was actually full! I can't remember when I ate that much last! Seeing as I haven't been able to eat or drink for ages.

Now finally I'm getting oxycodone as pills during the day so I can eat and drink. They're not high doses, so I still feel the pain, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. And I'm getting both antivirals and antibiotics through the IV catheter, and the swelling has slightly subsided. So today seems to be a better day than yesterday. Yesterday was horrible.
But I managed to get some photos from outside, Aurora hospital is a relatively nice place, old but pretty on a little hill.

Got my CrazyFactory package today!

Finally I got my package, sad I can't pierce yet 'cause my left arm is immobile thanks to the IV in the bend...
But I did get all of the things and I'm so superduperhappyhappyjoyohsuchjoy! I'll get my septum and labret back, plus two new earlobe piercings, so everything I had before but better! Hopefully...I'm always a bit apprehensive about piercing the septum, since the first time I did it, it went a bit crooked. The second time was perfect, and I don't know if I can beat perfect!

But this is what I got:
- 10 single packaged sterile needles of 1.6
- 2 semi cirles of 1 cm diameter, 1.2, and 3&4 mm balls
- 2 semi cirles of 1.2 cm diameter, 1.2, and 3&4 mm balls
- 2 longer labrets, 1.2, and 4 mm balls

So hopefully I'll get something like this done:

30 Day Blog Challenge - Days 2-4

This time I'm going to do three days at once, because days 3 and 4 are going to be answered very shortly.

Where I want to be in 10 years? 
- I want to have a child - boy or girl, I don't care
- I want to have a job that supports me and doesn't want to make me kill myself; doesn't need to be the best job in the world, doesn't need to pay the most, just enough so I don't cry myself to sleep because I have no money to pay my phone bill
- Own my own place - alright, I'm halfway there, but I don't want to stay in Finland for the rest of my life and I don't want to necessarily live in a 300 square metre house with a very small family or say just one dog if the kid part doesn't come to pass...
- In a country that I enjoy living in; sure I'll need to test a few places before I find the right place, but maybe Switzerland, Canada, Germany or Sweden? Something relatively familiar, close to my happy place and yet not Finland.

I think that's it. In 10 years I'll be 33½ and I'm not expecting to have everything by then. My health and a home are basically the biggest things, and with my health I need enough money to pay for hospital visits, so yeah. Well, not too out there I suppose, but hopefully down to earth enough to actually happen by the time I'm 34.

My views on drugs and alcohol?
Alcohol: don't drink too much, no need to be a teatotaller, but don't overdo it, it's really not healthy and it makes you look like an idiot. I speak from experience.
Drugs: this medium is too public to post my views here, I'm sorry.

My views on religion?
Religion is not needed for a person to have ethics and morals - and I don't care if you believe in God or don't believe, or what God/gods you believe in, just as long as your life's mission is not to judge others for not believing what you believe in. Okay? Okay.