Beauty of a nice orangerie

We've always wanted an orangerie with my dad, but never got to build one. Maybe one day I'll have my own, but right now, my life is going to different directions.
But still, maybe one day.

More Bohemian Homes

I just love boho chic, I find it the prettiest style of interior design out there. Enough of a mess, but not a junkyard, and so many beautiful colours and smells!
And there's so much relaxation in it, feels like a real paradise!

Where were you when my walls came falling down?

I remember all the bad things from my life. I remember all the pain and heartbreak I've endured over the years.

 Nothing says I love you more, than sitting beside you and comforting you when you're crying and hyperventilating, and you still know you can't help, but you do it anyway, because that's all you can do, and you know they know you love them because of it.

Always I just pressed my teeth together and went on with my life as if nothing had ever happened. That's always been my excuse. Get tough, smile and go on. Don't show your pain,  your sadness, your tears to anyone.

Because I had pain, I was sad, I cried alone. Sometimes months on end every night alone, promising myself that this was just sadness of some trauma I had endure, because those I have many, and it would go away.

It just accumulated. It went on like nothing ever would change. It's not easy trying to crawl from the rubble when all your walls have fallen and the roof fallen on you, it's not easy getting up and crawling your way out of anxiety and depression when you're the only one that knows anything happened. When you're the only one who noticed anything. When you refused to tell anyone.

I never told anyone how bad everything hurt, from my first boyfriend's suicide to my lymphoma and everything in between. My dad suspected but I didn't listen to him, I should have. I only got a bad temper. I always was a daddy's daughter, still am, temperamental. I get angry before I get sad.

But everyone needs help when they need to crawl out of all the rubble of a house. Where were you when someone's walls came falling down?

White Hair

My favourite alternative male models at the moment I

1. Rob Gales

2. Kyris

3. Ian Machine

4. Michael Freeby

11.12.13.14.15 and nothing ever goes on

There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under the heavens:

           a time to be born and a time to die,
     a time to plant and a time to uproot, 

            a time to kill and a time to heal,
     a time to tear down and a time to build, 

            a time to weep and a time to laugh,
     a time to mourn and a time to dance,

              a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
     a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

                 a time to search and a time to give up,
     a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

              a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,  

        a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

Oh These Pretty Bags

I'm thinking of getting me a new bag, just for the sake of having more than one unbroken bag, and maybe a packbag, since I have none and they're super good when going to Estonia and buy booze...
Oh and my dad found an old doctor's bag in the clothing closet room thingy and I get to keep it just as soon as it's cleaned <3

Home workouts number 2

Now some of these require machines, but don't worry, you can run in the wild too!