Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

I lost a friend today, I fear. Not one I'd like to have lost and it was all due to my actions or to be a lot clearer - my inactions.
If I had done something, said something, apologised, I might not have lost them, but I didn't, I couldn't and now I'm here alone without them.


This sums up my feelings at the moment, my highly sedated feelings as I almost got a panic attack due to all of this:

Passenger - Let Her Go

Songwriters: ROSENBERG, MICHAEL DAVID

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Cuteness Overload IV: Billie the Staring Dog

Friday Selfies

Bohemian fashion

All photos from Tumblr.

Giving up and not

I am giving up writing and publishing my food diaries, mostly because I've come to a point in my life that I feel I don't really need to post those, or so many posts a day as usual for me. This blog has some unbelievable therapeutic qualities for me, so I am not giving up on this (or on my diet), but I will try and keep it to a bare minimum.

My life is not suddenly better, but I do feel a weight slowly being lifted off my shoulders as each day passes, because each day I manage to get closer to my goals. It feels comforting. Also I think my meds are working better slowly, but I will have to discuss things with my shrink still.

Tomorrow I will go to the pharmacy again and get some more pills, on Saturday I will go clean out my flat in Tampere a bit more, on Sunday it's time for some shopping with my bf, and on Monday it's a nice little second Sunday. Three Kings, can't wait!

Three Holy Kings by Piotr Stachiewicz, for the Three Kings' Day on 6th January