Having to put down your best friend

My collie was born in August 2001, she was my saviour in a way, because I had been diagnosed with my heart condition only a few months earlier. I had always wanted a collie, but that was when my mother decided it was time I got what I wanted. Her name is Headstyle Can Can or as we like to call her: Bali. Yes, like the island. But mostly it's from ballerina.

I'm not really in a good mood today, we went shopping with my dad, but that only perked me up a bit.
I cried like a baby when the vet came, and I made my dad take our bernese away so she didn't have to watch.

I had to do  this decision. She was old. She had arthritis, bad arthritis. She had a bad stomach and getting her to the shower was so painful for her that induced fear in her. Fear against me. Against the one person who always always loved her and was mostly never angry with her, even when she peed in my bed a few times...
I loved her through everything, and I will always love her. She was definitely my comfort and joy, though her life slowly drifted into something very different from comfort and joy. I just hope she's happy in doggy heaven <3